Ministry is tough. It is one of those things that I believe people can be very good at, yet be desperately lacking in. It is one of those unique vocations where God’s great grace specifically touches the lives of those in great need. One of my classmates told me the other day that he thought ministry was about meeting people where they are at, introducing them to Jesus, and begging Jesus to touch them…. Read that again. Ministry is meeting people where they are, introducing them to Jesus, and begging Jesus to touch them. 

Some people are better equipped to understand this. And when I say better equipped I mean generously and undeservingly blessed to understand this thing we call ministry. For it takes a special type of relationship building. A unique insight to people’s hearts. A selfless love of others hearts. All of which I stand firm that only God can ordains in us — which might I add is incredible!

However, isn’t it strange how different ministry relationships are than any other type of relationship? Isn’t it ironic that a pastor can be incredibly relational, outstandingly compassionate, uncontrollably loving, yet be completely isolated? 

Let me see if I can do justice to what it is that I have been learning this past week…

Ministry is difficult because ministry type (and I am generalizing here, especially in terms of pastoral ministry) relationships are modeled in terms of a mentor, counselor, advisor, leader. A good shepherd  is one who cares for the flock. One who fights for those who cannot fight for themselves. Protects those who cannot sense the danger. Goes before those who cannot understand. A shepherd is someone who throws themselves at the feet of Jesus, begging for Jesus to just even look in the direction of the flock. 

Yet in that relationship, the shepherd establishes a one way type relationship with the flock. For the flock cannot possibly be there for the shepherd in the way the shepherd can be there for the flock. At least not on an individual level. That’s not how the relationship works. Now that isn’t to say that there will not be leaders within the flock who can assist the shepherd, nor is it to say that there will not be elders to guide and fight for the shepherd. In an ideal form of shepherding, the shepherd always has a home to return to. A place to go that will shelter him or her from the ferocity of the wandering wilderness. A place that will encourage, fill up, and guide the shepherd. 

But here is the disconnect. The irony in it all. For individuals (and again I am generalizing) who are truly touched by God and undeservingly blessed with the gift of being a shepherd, I think it can be hard to establish relationships with people that will fill the shepherd’s home. For, as in my experiences, when shepherds come across people, their immediate tendency is to act as a shepherd in their life. And I don’t mean that in the type of way that the shepherd feels the need to play the role of savior in the person’s life. No, it’s more that this is simply the natural tendency of a shepherd, to want to invite people in, to be a place of refuge for them, to be there to lighten their load. However, in doing so, relationships that are established begin to expect that, and in turn, by the shepherd’s own doing, there is no one to fill the house of the shepherd. 

Thus, ministry has the potential to be a self generated prison of isolation. Ministers can be surrounded by hundreds of people that love and respect them, but have no one to stand watch at the family room window in anticipation for the shepherd to come home and have a dinner with. And I don’t even mean that in a spousal type relationship. I mean it in the most basic sense of, we all need people in our corner, people who are ready to fight for us, to understand and protect us. People who can guide and sustain us. People to fill us up. It is a basic necessity. 

I am finding that it is easier for me to establish relationships like that of a shepherd. However, it takes much more effort and energy for me to lay off the ministry type relationship building and just allow relationships to happen. To allow people to have the opportunity to minister to and shepherd me. So my goal for the next few weeks is simply going to be to let relationship happen. Stop trying to be a shepherd in everyone’s life, because then I won’t have people who can be there for me.