We talk about what it means to follow God nearly every day in church, touching vaguely on what that means, but never truly giving it any direction. And I completely understand, you don’t want to give it too much specificity — you almost want to leave it vague. That way people can search themselves and see what it is they are being called into follow. But I feel like there is an overwhelming amount of people in the world that need that specificity. I mean honestly, how many people walk out of an incredible sermon, all fired up to do something, but by the time they get in the car and drive home, they have forgotten that motivation?

I don’t know if you know this or not, but following God sucks. If you can full heartedly die to self and selflessly offer all of who you are to Christ, I promise it will be the most difficult thing you will ever do. We are selfish to the core, resistant to change, immune to the truth of the weight of our pride . To follow God is to let all of that go. It is taking every piece of our broken spirit, bit by bit, and continually offering it back to the one who opened our eyes to the pain inside. To follow God is to lay down the pride that insist we can do it ourselves. That pride that stands in the face of all that God craves to establish in us. To follow God is to let go of all that holds us back. More than let go, to drop and flee from. To follow God is to run towards those things that scare the poop out of us, that make us uncomfortable, that literally take our breath away because they are so majestically inconceivable. 

Whatever that may look like in your life, whatever or whoever those things are that you need to run from, I can promise you, it will not be easy. 

Now let me tell you, and by no means do I have anything figured out, but when you begin that process, no matter how incredibly afraid you are — when you can learn to drop piece by piece in the hope that one day you can be able to drop everything and simply run to the glory that is so eager to consume us, you will be filled with more joy, love, and comfort than you will know what to do with. You will begin to see things in a new light with a perspective that strengthens and sustains you. You will shine into the darkness of this world the same light that illuminated the depths of your soul. And nothing, no wedding vow, no birth of a child, no journey of friendship will ever be able to even scratch the surface of how beautifully glorious this thing of following God is. 

Starting today, I am striving to know and follow God with a heart who doesn’t have it all together, but doesn’t care because it is willing to offer all that broken dysfunction up to my Abba. 

Jesus,

Who am I to be able to call you by name? Who am I to be able to experience just the sliver of glory that you have shown me? Lord, teach me how to follow you. Where you go I’ll go. Where you stay, I’ll stay. When you move, I’ll move. I will follow Abba. Who you love I’ll love. How you serve, I will serve. Jesus teach me how to take these empty words and make them whole. Teach me how to let go and take hold. Teach me how to continue to move forward, even as I am trembling with the fear that the next step hold. Use me this year Jesus. Mold and shape me this year Abba. Let me become all that you wish for me to become. Don’t let me hold me back. I love you Jesus.